You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
