Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
