I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
