my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Will exercising make me less horny?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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