You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
