You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
