Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its not stalking. its research.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
