turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
