I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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