at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
