Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
