listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize