Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
