I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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