office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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