guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
