Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
