one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
