it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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