Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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