Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
