Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
