Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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