I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
