Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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