I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
