Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i believe in u and ur pee
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