Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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