We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
