she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
