I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
