Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
