Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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