Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
