I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
