Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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