i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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