I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
