It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
