you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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