i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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