1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
