it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He kissed a someone with a penis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
