a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
