the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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