I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
