Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
