I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize