the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
