I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
