chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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