I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
