What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize