I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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