did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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