i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
