went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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