no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
