am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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