I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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