No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
