is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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